Betrayal

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St.Patrick’s Cathedral, Ballarat, Victoria, Australia

The colourful reminder ribbons tied by clergy child sexual abuse survivors & their supporters on the front gate of St.Patrick’s Cathedral Ballarat.

Such suffering caused
By those who betrayed blind trust
They shall not forget

(c) Ajanta Judd Words & Image

Australia Day Reality

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Lemon Scented Gums on a scorching day

Welcome to a day of realistic remembrance…

Whilst Australia is a wonderful country and there is much to be grateful for, Australia Day remains a bitter sweet occurrence within its historical and social relevance to Indigenous Australians. Furthermore, as long as the welfare of our Indigenous friends is not adequately addressed, there can be no restitution.

Right across this land – look past the horizon – out into the beyond – feel your feet on the surface – zone in – right to the core – feel the expanse – the immensity – the wonder – not just this country but all over the planet – out beyond this planet – galaxy upon galaxy …….. it is not ours to own – to exploit – to tarnish….. and how can we be so conceited to think that we’re the only ones? We are visitors – all of us – we must behave like visitors – with respect and reverence …. Some may think that they own a small piece of it – but they don’t…really….. how can we possibly own that which is not given? We only assume things to be so and as such, we are always at odds with the universal law ……When we learn to abide by this law – when we learn to live in the universal flow…we will cease the struggle, the control and the greed… And what of love? It is said that love is all that is required…as if by some magical flick of a wand, love fixes everything.. How ignorant is that?? Love is an intent – a verb – a doing word – not a random emotion and not something to be bandied around to make ourselves feel good. If we tried to heal our woes with emotions, what a mess it would be! ….And it is! LOVE is the genuine intention of good will – of desiring well being for all. Not this disingenuous crap espoused by those in fancy garb. Let the false prophets be exposed, let the hypocrisy be revealed….let there be a genuine intent – may harmony and ease of living prevail. Stuff patriotism – (as Oscar Wilde said: “the virtue of the vicious”) – I pledge my allegiance to this wonderful universe and its eons old ways of creating harmony and order!

The little minds of human kind are no match for this…

(c) Ajanta Judd Words & Image

 

 

 

These Words

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Datura – Devil’s Trumpets – Crystal Castle, Mullumbimby, NSW

How many colours has my soul?
Which one is the strongest? Which one is the weakest?
Which one is the wicked?
Which one has the power to drag your soul into a journey that will challenge you?
Are you the wicked one? What colours are you?
Who is the one now reading intent into my words? Making assumptions?
Uttering righteous comments – making subjective judgements?
Which, like a medieval sword challenges my heart, confronts my soul?
Whilst others choose to use my words like a knife with two blades
Do my words have the power to awake a dormant flower under the ice?
Like a pale ray of sun breaking the heavy clouds in the mist of winter?
Is it poetry of the soul? Are they words from the divine?
Are they words that can say more than words can say?
Words that seek to describe that which is indescribable?
The ineffable, indefinable, transcendental, courageous, infinite.
These words of soul’s connection, soul’s expression of the divine
The devil’s trumpeting or, the angel’s sweet melodious intonations
Are you brave enough to receive them?

(c) Ajanta Judd Words & Image

Painfully Honest Rant 2017 Rewind

Painfully HonestI first wrote this piece in 2015 then revised it in 2016 during my relationship with Peter. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find that version. This is a re-edited 2017 draft version which is a work in progress:

WRITING THE TRUTH

Oh, and a big yes to this one!
Well, here goes. I am a writer and I like writing the truth as I perceive it.
I will be brave and address the main points:
Hey, I don’t really like it when a ‘friend’ treats me with disrespect, says something hurtful, treats me in a hurtful way, demeans me or, has unrealistic expectations of me such that they pay out on me when I don’t measure up to their needs.
I don’t like it when a person who purports to ‘love’ me invalidates me by countering my concerns with their own defensive reaction formation or, comes into my home and chastises me. Nor do I like to hear ‘gossip’ about other people because I know that whoever is gossiping is likely to gossip about me also.
I don’t like disingenuous or, pretentious people but I do have compassion for them.
I don’t like assumptions or, accusations. I don’t like physical, emotional, verbal or, sexual abuse/violence or anything else that reeks of abuse.
Am I ‘in love’ with someone? Perhaps…. I don’t quite know the answer to that – whatever ‘in love’ means…. I am full of love for my beloved Peter – who I miss dearly and who is now gone. I will always love him with great reverence despite the passing of time. This is not a love of loss, yearning or attachment – this is a deep abiding affection and love for this man which is not limited by life or, lessened by death. I learned a lot more about love during my time with Peter and I have much gratitude for this. I know that I will love like this again with a new partner as I have an endless supply of love for the right person. In the past, I have often been in ‘lust’ and mistaken it for love. I love humankind in all its beauty and absurdity. I love the struggles and the triumphs we all have. I love people in my life with differing intensities – some with deep and selfless intensity – others with less. I have love and compassion for many people, animals, our planet, nature, the universe. I have compassion and good will for people in my life that I have decided to let go of.

I have learned that compassion for myself must come first and to remove myself from people who are harmful to me. I don’t have to be in someone’s company to love them or, have empathy for them. I have unrequited love for a few people and that is ok. I just love them and it doesn’t have to be anything else. I have profound love for a select few. I love people who wouldn’t know that I love them. I have a deep and abiding love of people who inspire me.
I have love for qualities that I see as admirable in others. I have a profound love for horses.
I have a profound love of the written word, of music, of art, of creativity, of innovation.
I really miss my Dharma friends in the NSW Northern Rivers region. I think of them often.

I miss my friend Simone Rock who passed away suddenly in April 2015. I think of her often –
she was a bright spark. As for missing people and thinking about them all the time, the art of
‘non attachment’ is part of my daily practice and I work at cultivating mind discipline through meditation and mindfulness. So, over thinking about someone or missing them to distraction is not really my bag – this is a hard one though! There have been friends and family members in my live who for various and very good reasons I have decided to let go of and I have moments of sadness when I miss the good times. I have no regrets. A psychologist whom I was seeing back in 2009 said to me that I seem to have a lot of regrets. She suggested I write them all down. I ended up with two pages worth and in the process of writing them, they were gone. Try it, it works! Ah, and what I think of myself is way more important than what others think of me. I like myself (worked long and hard at that one) and strive to be the best person I can be for myself and others. Is that painfully honest enough? I write such things, not out of any narcissistic need, but to encourage others to think and perhaps do the same and be as real as they can be.